What I’ll be when I grow up

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up…. There are a lot of great answers here on finding meaning. Some days I think I would like to be a writer.
Then I freak out about the beating it is to write a book. I just finished my first book. It was really, really difficult.
Some days I want to make a difference in the homeless community in Fort Worth.
Then life just happens. You go to work. You go home. You eat shitty food. Then you think, “I’ve got to start eating better”.
I read a statistic that 72% of men are unhappy with the current state of their physical health. The number one thing we would like to change is drinking less alcohol.
My homeless buddy Christopher says the number one reason people are homeless in Fort Worth is because of sobriety. His face is beaten down.
Being homeless in Fort Worth is “Living on Lancaster”.  Christopher is an expert on being homeless. His story is amazing.
All this shit about finding your meaning and purpose. That doesn’t happen while you’re in the thick of “it”. I’ve found that I don’t connect meaning to an event until afterwords.
 Remember those days being a kid. Riding your bike for hours on end. Your worries were super small. Unless you had some a-hole adult doing stupid shit to you. If that was the case then I’m very sorry.
My son, Judah, is 5. He wants to be a grown up. His reasoning for wanting to be a grown up is so that he can eat whenever and stay up late. He doesn’t know how bad that shit is for grown ups…..
I don’t know who you are, but I’m in this boat with you. I can say that everyday I find hope in gradual progress. Maybe in my progress, I’ll look back and find meaning and purpose.

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